Because we KNOW what you’re thinking.
You’re sitting there in front of your powerful machine. You’re somewhat curious what’s this post is going to say and maybe for a split of a second you’ve even considered becoming part of Railsberry.
But you won’t. No way! So far we’ve kept you unimpressed with the speaker list, venue, the team behind the event and – OH LORD – the infantile, obnoxious, hardly bearable packaging. How many times did you want us to STOP throwing that pink sugar in your face?! It’s been making you SICK.
You’re thinking you will skip Railsberry and go to your local BoringConf or that annual Microsoft workshop about the coming revival of IE6. In the end nobody really likes traveling, learning NEW stuff and hanging out with great, fun and like-minded people. You’ve always been a bit anti-social, you tell yourself. It will be noisy, you won’t get enough sleep and everyone around you will just be bragging about how many cheap drinks they had last night in one of Kraków’s many bars. Are we still teenagers or what?
And not one but TWO great parties with a bunch of strangers? Oh COME ON. It’s a Rails event for Lord’s sake and not a Rio carnival! Or a goddamn Octoberfest! Party, party, party – you CAN get that at home with your high school friends. They are THE BEST – why would you wanna make new ones?
To make things worse Poland is freeeeezing cold, they say. There are polar bears here, walking around like dogs. Yesterday on the news they even said it’s dangerous. Yeah, people get robbed, shit gets stolen in Kraków ALL THE TIME. You better think twice.
The WiFi will probably suck and you won’t be able to tweet or tag yourself in Facebook pictures. And the tickets, they are just too expensive. You would have to skip a few nights of drinking with your high school friends and maybe even cut down on your online gaming spending… No way! And your company will never send you to a Rails Conf because everyone knows you can’t learn anything just from talking with the best people in the community. And, erm, getting inspired won’t pay the bill, you need a hard-data-backed proof that there will be a positive return on that investment not this philosophical BS.
Plus, given a chance to choose your career ALL OVER again, you’d rather become a librarian. Stuff just changes too fast when you’re a software guy… Why did nobody tell you that when you typed your first line of code? You go on vacation, come back and you need to refactor everything you just wrote. Being a developer is fcuking STRESSFUL. And who likes to program anyway?!
OH COME ON, stop it!
Don’t you think it’s stressful for us too? We put up this great event and there you are – sitting there unimpressed, maybe even publicly slamming us on Twitter. Man, you’re a tough one!
Yes – the venue is JUST the coolest in Kraków. But – hey – maybe it will get flooded just as at EuRuKo 2010 and we’d have to come up with a new one in under a week? Now THAT would be something! Yes – the speakers list is just the BEST lineup of each and every Rails conference that ever took place in Europe (and I don’t say “on this planet” just cause I’m too lazy to do any proper research).
Almost half of the Rails Core Team and 17 more amazing speakers from the world’s coolest companies will get on stage… But it’s not like we could invite any .NET or Pascal peeps – it’s a RAILS EVENT in the end! And Jose Valim happens to live in the damn city so we really had to ask him to speak! There, we said it.
What? You dislike that pink jam? That’s a recipe we got from our grandmother, you know? Show some respect 
Ok, it’s been a long week here too. Let’s calm down and start over. Maybe we can still actually convince you.
WHY would you bother spending all that EUR to come to the Land of Po (*)? Let us take you by the hand – there are four additional facts for those still hesitating:
- Polish people are known to be the nicest people on Earth (**)
- Jose Valim will be dancing on stage (***)
- The official history of the town is based on a silly story of a shoe maker who killed a dragon with a planted sheep (and some sulphur). If that’s what we believe in, this must be a fun town, right?!
- There are no polar bears but we’ve got polar beers!
What’s now?
Go ahead and book your ticket cause if you’ve gotten all the way here reading this crazy story you either REALLY want to attend… OR you really want to tell us what you think of us and that annoying pink website! Why won’t you tell us in person in Kraków, April 19-20th?
Gee, it took you a while to read this stack of nonsense…
Well, HURRY UP. The tickets will be gone before you notice so book your spot now. Just click on that short link below, do the magic and you’re good to go. To Kraków!
See you soon! (****)
Ela
(*) Also called Poland! And “Po” is the RED teletubby!!
(**) Ok, ok, ok – we made that one up! BUT WE ARE NICE AND SWEET.
(***) Right, he never said that either, but he could!
(****) YOUR Malinówka is on ICE already. If you don’t come to Kraków… there will be more left for us!